Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize