im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize