Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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