I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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