Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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