The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize