he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
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WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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