hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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