Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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