Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is wine microwaveable?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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