I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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