win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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