The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize