our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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