I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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