I hope mine doesn't look like that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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