he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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