Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize