you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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