I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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