I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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