im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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