Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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  (805): i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns? http://tfl.nu/p7xv
  Replies (5) Good night (541) Bad night (1970) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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  (201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf
  Replies (7) Good night (437) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6240) Bad night (622)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.

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  (404): Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio. http://tfl.nu/i1ck
  Replies (8) Good night (2577) Bad night (1014)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10241) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont even know how to be here

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  (973): i dont even know how to be here http://tfl.nu/mwy9
  Replies (34) Good night (5413) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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  (650): You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/2plm
  Replies (14) Good night (5512) Bad night (989) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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  (512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml
  Replies (15) Good night (1202) Bad night (3387) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit

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  (315): I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit http://tfl.nu/ybzi
  Replies (7) Good night (3551) Bad night (1736) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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  (647): he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird? http://tfl.nu/hpqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.

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  (330): Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay. http://tfl.nu/7dwn
  Replies (4) Good night (1653) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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  (516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show

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  (719): Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show http://tfl.nu/2ff1
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

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  (650): Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens http://tfl.nu/mv4i
  Replies (13) Good night (1958) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid

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  (732): So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid http://tfl.nu/ju72
  Replies (5) Good night (403) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt

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