The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
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He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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