I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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