Me too!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize