i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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