You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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