Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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