...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize