While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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