He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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