It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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