all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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