And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I just shit out all my problems.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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