Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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