I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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