What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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