its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize