It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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