Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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