No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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