Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your cock deserves a montage
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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