i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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