I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize