after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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