I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize