I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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