I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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