something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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