i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize